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One time when I was prospecting I walked across the clubhouse, my Sgt at Arms says "Pass me your lockknife I want to show this visiting club officer the engraving". I had engraved 'have a nice day' on the blade. So, as my Sgt was showing off my knife, I turned away. The Sgt then thought it was funny to jab the knife into the cheek of my arse. In a completely instant reaction I pulled out the stub end of a pool cue I used to carry inside my coat and whacked him on the head with it, a bit too hard. Shit! Claret everywhere, visiting officer pissing himself, and the Sgt chasing me round the room threatening to kill me, with my own knife!! He did eventually see the funny side and I did eventually get my patch, but it was close! - from F (1980s)
Me and my club was in a party in the north of England when we made up a prospect. He was so happy he jumped in a canal to celebrate. The dull fucker!! It was minus 6 outside and the canal was like ice. His breath went as he went under. Us members were then stood on the bank arguing about who was going to save him. We decided to chuck the other prospect in to help. We got both out eventually but the first one was blue, really blue! We spent three hours with him in a hot bath trying to revive him, so as not to spoil the party. You can't believe the ungrateful bastard when he said we should have took him to hospital when we knew his heart had stopped beating. He still whinges about it now! - from S (1990s)